This is day 14 of Dave being in the hospital and day 12 in ICU. This is a journey that no one wants to travel, yet there are times you don't have any choice. My heart aches when I sit by his bed side watching for any positive sign. There are days we move forward but then again the next day it seems we move more steps backward. "Two steps forward Three steps Back"...
Dave complained about being tired a few weeks before Christmas and said his arm was sore but we thought it was just the Christmas Effort taking it's toll like it does for all of us. Long days, kettles, money, people, issues, etc. On the 23rd he woke, began to get out of bed, grabbed his arm and fell to the ground in pain. Needless to say I thought it was a heart attack so we rushed him to the hospital..
After taking an Xray and giving him some pain meds. they determined it was his rotator cuff, sent him home with medication and he went to bed. He literally slept till Christmas Day when I woke him him. He wasn't his old jovial self but I figured it was the med. and still not feeling well. He had invited 3 kettle workers to Christmas Dinner. After opening his gifts, and sitting at the dinner table for just a short time he went back to bed.
I got him up after church on Sun. and he had difficulty walking and even his speech seemed impaired but again, I thought it was the meds he was taking and being exhausted from the Christmas Effort. He managed to stay up awhile but he ached all over. Monday the same thing but the pain was worse, his motor skills were way off as was his speech. Tues. same, Wed. I went to get him up for the doc. appointment and found him on the floor. When I asked him what he was doing there he said he felt better laying on something hard..It took two of us to get him up,,at this point, he could barely move. He was in terrible pain, he couldn't move his legs or arm and his foot was swollen. IT took both Kelly and I to get him dressed, down the stairs and into the car. When I got him to the Orthopedic Surgeon he needed to be wheeled into the office. The doc. looked at his shoulder, barely, didn't look at the Xray taken at the hospital nor did he order another one. His conclusion was Dave had "Frozen Shoulder" and it would take up to 3 yrs to "thaw out"....blamed it on diabetes!!! So I asked about the rest of the problem and his response was "you came here for the shoulder I can't do anything about the other"....GRRRR I wanted to punch him in the face....He did call our regular doc. and I took him over to see her. From there it was a whirlwind..
They took his blood pressure and checked his heart, called the ambulance and off he went. I was scared, Kelly was scared, Cassidy and Kiley were scared. IT took a team of doctors of all kinds to determine in the ER that Dave had contacted a major Staph INfection that attacked all his vital organs. HE was in critical condition...and still is. This is day 14....
He has been poked and prodded,,He has a doctor for the brain, heart, kidney's, internal and Infectious Decease Doc. HE has had some great nurses, one in particular who took time to share with Cassidy what she was going to see when she finally came home and went to visit. She was on for 4 days went home 4 days and then came back to care for Dave again...What a blessing she was to me and how she treated Dave with such care and dignity.
We have blessed by many friends, family and strangers sending words of encouragement and prayers being lifted on his behalf from all over the world. I don't like when people put their life history out on facebook but I felt led to request prayer for Dave with a short explanation. Every day I am encouraged as I read the notes and prayers from people. Some I know many I don't...The SA community/Family is like none other and I am so grateful to each who participate.
Being so isolated from friends and family during this time has been hard at times. Dave and I are very private people and I for one find it difficult to ask for anything. Asking for prayer was a giant step but it wasn't for me,,it's for the man I love and have been married to for 35 years. My best friend and motorcycle partner..We have plans for retirement,,snowmobiling, travel, family, spend time with friends and the list goes on. Right now those are all on the back burner and I sit at Dave's bedside watching and praying and talking to him.
Sat. there was hope...(there is hope and I am believing in a miracle) but his eyes were opened more than usual. We thought we noticed him following us a little and react to the voices of friends who came to visit. I like to believe he did..but Sunday was a down day. His vitals were all over the place,,they had to give him blood.
The physical therapist came in yesterday but there was no response from Dave. He has to be off the ventilator, breath on his own and obey the commands given like "squeeze my hand Dave" but not to be at this time. They said they are pretty sure it's because of all the heavy medicine, pain killers, antibiotics, insulin etc. that he has had pumped into his body the last 14 days and it takes time. The kidney's were at 7% function so they can't do the job they are suppose to do. Slowly,,one step at a time.
What have I learned from this journey..'Wait upon the Lord"...."my strength comes from the Lord",,,"the Lord is my strength"...I am not a patient person for sure so waiting has been difficult. I am here early in the morning and leave late at night. I sit in the waiting room and a few things happen. I get angry and frustrated with the noisy, inconsiderate people who don't seem to care about those around them. Then there are those who sit and wait and weep and pray...
Last weekend a group of 4 sisters came to be with their Mom. They were from upstate NY and only came for the day but ended up staying 5 days with the clothes they had on. They got a motel room, and ran to Khols to get the necessities..we would talk, I had an opportunity to pray with them and would bring in goodies. One morning I grabbed a couple of gift cards I had received for Christmas, and gave them to one of the sisters. "Go across to the mall and get something decent to eat, you need to get away for a short time"....they tried to give it back but I wouldn't take it....the next day their Mom passed away and as they were leaving the one sister came and thanked me for the prayers and support...
Another Mom and daughter were here before Dave and I arrived. The husband had a heart attack and was in critical condition. We talked and I had an opportunity to share my witness and prayed for them and with them. The daughter had to go back to Conn. on Sunday so the Mom (in her 70s') is here by herself. WE talk and then she goes and sits with her husband Arthur..Last night I tried to get her to come to the house for supper..I just needed to do that for my kids and me and thought she might like to get away..Wishful thinking...she wouldn't leave him but he is doing much better. She said she would take a "rain check" so we shall see..
Lessons from this...life is to precious..stop putting off the things you talk about doing and keep putting off. Don't take your spouse or anyone for that matter for granted. You just never know what tomorrow will bring. We never, ever would have thought we would be in this position. Dave was a healthy man who exercised, rode his bike and walked..This bacteria came in through the skin but we will probably next know exactly. It's going to be a long, long road once he gets to come home for his recovery. He will have a pick line for 6 - 12 weeks and will be taking medicine for his heart for a long time.
I love my husband, I love his wit and sense of humor. I love how he has such compassion for seniors and how he teases the ladies at the Corps. I love how he looks at our girls with such pride and love and how he talks to our son in law about sports and other stuff. How we plan for our future together and what we want to do for retirement..I miss how he tells me to shut the TV off and go to sleep, how he says I want wheat spaghetti not white,,how he eats all the tangerines and leaves his socks on the floor. I miss how he redoes the dishes in the dishwasher because we just didn't put them in the right way. I miss riding in his van and listening to the Satilite radio with the old showtime stories,,westerns, Sherlocke Homes, and many others...
Friends, make sure you tell your loved one daily that you love them and appreciate them. Don't waste time being angry and putting off the things that are important to both of you...You just never know....
I love David and believe that God is going to give us more time together. I believe a miracle is going to happen and he will have a full recovery. I am trusting his doctors, nurses and most importantly the Great Physician.. I don't know how someone can go through this not having the Lord in their life. Thank you Jesus for the gift of David in my life and the ministry and family we share...I continue to solicit your prayers on David's behalf.
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